Interrogation of the Guys
Starring: The Guys
And Sailor Zaniel
Written by Kyoko-hime
NOTE: most everyone's personality is exaggerated in this. Emerald is hyperactive and in bad need of tranquilizers, Silver is sullen and grumpy and mean, Ruby is a whiny annoying brat (okay, so HE'S not out of character), etc. Just to let you know. ^^;;
HOLONET NEWSCASTER: Hello, Celebrity Fans! We're here today with the males of the fanfic "The Star Wars Senshi"! Let's hear it!
::clapping, applause::
HNNC: We'll be doing an interview today! I'm sure we'll have a great time!
RUBYKNIGHT: ::grumbling:: don't bet on it...
HOLONET NEWSCASTER: ::ignores that:: The panel goes as follows: Goldknight, Silverknight, Bronzeknight, Sapphireknight, Rubyknight, and Emeraldknight, as well as special guests Talon-Kataris Mavendark (we like to call him T.K. ::wink::), Raen Renegade and even the guardians Haidar and Akusei in their human form!!
How are you feeling, you guys?
GOLDKNIGHT: ...like I'm being watched by half the galaxy.
SILVERKNIGHT: .....
BRONZEKNIGHT: .....
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: Rather confused, actually... what exactly is the point of this?
RUBYKNIGHT: Unhappy. But what else is new?
AKUSEI: Does announcing like that all the time hurt your voice? I think it might hurt mine... or at least make me nauteous.
HAIDAR: Interested. Do you do this kind of thing often?
RAEN: ..if so, can I be in a few more of these?
SILVERKNIGHT: Yes, we can never get enough of the glory that is Raen. >_<
RAEN: Damn straight!
KATARIS: ... don't call me TK.
EMERALDKNIGHT: Uhh... excited... kind of. Want to hear a joke?
HNNC: ... Maybe later. For now, let's get on with the questions! Hopefully tonight's conversation will be good!*
So, for the Knights, how do you feel about being senshi?
AKUSEI: ::wicked grin::
::everyone glares::
GOLDKNIGHT: I guess it's OK.
BRONZEKNIGHT: It's a challenge.
RUBYKNIGHT: I would like it, except that everything happens to me.
SILVERKNIGHT: ::glares at Akusei:: What do YOU think?
::sweatdrops::
EMERALDKNIGHT: It's kind of fun for me, actually.
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: The outfits aren't half bad, either.. ours are not, anyway.
KATARIS: ::rolls eyes and grumbles something about them all being jocks::
How would you describe yourselves individually?
GOLDKNIGHT: Umm... well... ::sweatdrop::
AKUSEI: He's GOLDEN BOY! hahahahaha!
GOLDKNIGHT: STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!
SILVERKNIGHT: ....
RUBYKNIGHT: He's the cold, fighting-obsessed mental case. =P
BRONZEKNIGHT: I'm the good-gone-bad-and-now-trying-to-redeem-themselves type..
RAEN: I'm the handsome, dashing -
RUBYKNIGHT: Irresponsible jerk.
RAEN: Don't go quoting Nilmane, now!
KATARIS: Ditto to Bronze, sort of...
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: I... well...
EMERALDKNIGHT: You're the calm, headstrong, moralistic one.
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: that fits.
AKUSEI: I'm the only one here that's GOOD for something, tell you what. All of these guys don't-
SILVERKNIGHT: -have a mouth as big as yours.
HAIDAR: I'm the cat. Enough said.
::sweatdrop::
RUBYKNIGHT: I'm the reluctant, unlucky one...
EMERALDKNIGHT: And I'm the FUNNY one! Want to here a joke NOW?
::sweatdrop again::
Alright then! Gold Knight, rumor has it you're matched up with Sailor Solar Mithanos! What do you and your fellow Knights think of her?
GOLDKNIGHT: Well, um...
SAILORZANIEL: ::pops in, making a face:: They're in LOOOOOVVEEEEEEE! L-O-V-E- LOVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! WHOHOO!
GOLDKNIGHT: Shut UP, CALVERA!!
::Goldknight tries to go after her but Bronzeknight stops him::
AKUSEI: ::starts laughing his head off:: Ooh, temper temper, Golden Boy!
BRONZEKNIGHT: ::ahems:: Well, they're best friends, and, he likes her and stuff. Yea, that's it.
RUBYKNIGHT: Ooh, very articulate, Bronze. =P
... uh... all right, whatever you say. let's move on shall we? what's with Lunar Mithanos and Silver Knight?
SILVERKNIGHT: Nothing. Nothing is 'with' us.
So you're not "together"?
SILVERKNIGHT: Not in YOUR sense of the word, no.
Aww, come on! Give us the details!
SILVERKNIGHT: If you don't stop annoying me you're going to find yourself in a very unpleasant situation very soon.
AKUSEI: You want details? I'll give you'em. He--
SILVERKNIGHT: ::gives him the Evil Eye::
AKUSEI: ::sweatdrops::
...uhh.... ::massive sweatdrop:: Bronze Knight, what about you and Alderaan?
BRONZEKNIGHT: ::looks embarrassed::
RUBYKNIGHT: ::sighs::
EMERALDKNIGHT: They're um-friends!
BRONZEKNIGHT: ::Brightens:: Yea!
What's an um-friend?
EMERALDKNIGHT: Where they're um... friends! A word used to describe people having a relationship but not required by social law to be plastered to each other in the hallways of a learning institution! Cool, no?
(NOTE: The um-friends thing was coined up by the JFW.)
HAIDAR and RAEN: boorrrinnnnggg....
SILVERKNIGHT: shut up.
Uhh... Okay. this interview is not going as well as i'd hoped. But Hapes and Emeraldknight are together, correct?
EMERALDKNIGHT: Uhh... no... but I'm planning on asking her on a date real soon!
::more sweatdrops::
What about TK and Anoth?
KATARIS: Yes, we're together. There, your question is answered, end of discussion. ::glare:: AND MY NAME IS TALON! DON'T CALL ME TK!
AKUSEI: ::grins:: You want me to tell you what they did yesterday? see, I was walking in the halls, and-
KATARIS: ::stuffs him under the seat:: STOP SPYING ON ME!!!
Uh... Haidar, who are you with anyone?
HAIDAR: NO, I AM NOT WITH ALAKINI!!!!
GOLDKNIGHT: You're NOT, really? Gee, I wonder who else he could be with...
AKUSEI: ::dryly:: What a tough question.
HAIDAR: What are you talking about?
um... Raen and Naboo?
BRONZEKNIGHT: He's busy chasing her, don't you worry about that...
RAEN: ::grins toothily::
GOLDKNIGHT: Can we _please_ move onto another subject?
RUBYKNIGHT: This is stupid.
BONZEKNIGHT: _Really_ stupid. Not to mention embarrassing..
All right, one last question! Sapphire, what about Isole?
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: She's my friend.
KATARIS: Well, duh.
Yes, but how do you feel about her?
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: Well... she's... I... how do you want me to answer that?
Come on! How do you feel about her? Does she make you all warm and mushy inside, does she annoy you, what?
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: .... ::slight blush:: I don't understand the relevance of these questions!
OK, let me put this into different terms: what would you tell her if she was dying and if it would be the last thing you told her?
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: I... ::looks down:: I... if she died, I...
EMERALDKNIGHT: ::whispers:: Just hang in there 'till we get all that free desert they promised us...
SILVERKNIGHT: I suggest changing the subject. NOW.
Ooookaaaaaaaay....
Anyway....
What is WITH you guy's hair?
EMERALDKNIGHT: Hey! So what if mine always has twigs and stuff in it! It's not as if nobody knows that I like to go collect animals!
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: And mine is simply cut Padawan style! There is nothing unusual in it!
BRONZEKNIGHT: Mine is symbolic, black, you know... and a pony tail at my neck is fine! Besides, Jaina likes it.
SAILORZANIEL: ::poping in again:: Ooh, I thought you were just UUUMMM-FRRIIEEENDDSSS...
HAIDAR and GOLDKNIGHT: ::stuff her into a nearby trash can::
RAEN: Mine makes me look dashing! It's a lovely violet color, and wavy, in a charming pony tail. I'm very fond of it, thank you very much! It makes me look princely and dashing!
::sweatdrops::
KATARIS: So what if mine is red and poofy? I can't help it! ::pulls cloak over his head::
RUBYKNIGHT: ::flustered:: I can't help the fact mine sticks up a little! If you want to talk about strange hair styles, look at Mr. Long-haired over there.
SILVERKNIGHT: ::frown:: it's not that long...
RUBYKNIGHT: It goes past your shoulders!
EMERALDKNIGHT: Dude, it goes to your _waist_!
RUBYKNIGHT: And it's this weird dark silvery-metallic color!
SILVER KNIGHT: And there's a PROBLEM with that? ::glare::
::sweatdrop::
HAIDAR: I like my hair! It's not too long, but it's not short, either. And chicks dig the purple! ::he and Raen hi-five::
AKUSEI: No they DON'T. Orange is the best color, idiot, it has to be 'cause I've got it. ::nods::
GOLDKNIGHT: ::sweatdrop:: Don't look at me, I'm the only one who has got the normal brown hair around here...
EMERALDKNIGHT: You have the Hero Hair!
GOLDKNIGHT: Hero hair? What the heck is that?
EMERALDKNIGHT: Hair that is either fairly normal or spikey. Usually belongs to the heroic guy character. ^_~
(Note: ALSO coined up by the JFW. ^_^)
Well, why do Obi-Wan, Zekk and Raen all have pony-tails? Is it a trend or something?
PONYTAIL PEOPLE: ::looking indignant:: WE LIKE OUR HAIR THIS WAY!
RAEN: they're at different spots! Obi-Wan's is behind his head, Zekk's is at his neck, and mine is in a tight low pony-tail!
Uh, yea. Okay. ::now accumulating massive sweatdrops:: What was it like being a Sailor Starlight?
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: I suppose it was not... as bad as people make it out to be.
RUBYKNIGHT: Yea, it was worse.
EMERALDKNIGHT: >_< I thought it was fun, so there.
RUBYKNIGHT: You would.
What's your favorite color?
EMERALDKNIGHT: Green!
RUBYKNIGHT: Red!
AKUSEI: Orange!
KATARIS: Dark red!
HAIDAR: Indigo!
RAEN: Purple!
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: Blue!
EMERALDKNIGHT: Is there an echo in here?
BRONZEKNIGHT: Bronze!
SILVERKNIGHT: Silver!
GOLDKNIGHT: Brown!
::everyone stares at him::
GOLDKNIGHT: uh... AND gold!
Show or cartoon? Besides Sailor Moon, I mean?
BRONZEKNIGHT: I like "Doctor Who."
EMERALDKNIGHT: "Emergency Vets" all the way, man! I also like "The Wild Thornberrys."
SILVERKNIGHT: "Neo Genesis Evangalion"
GOLDKNIGHT: Yea, he likes to see the big machines crash things.
SILVERKNIGHT: I do not, and you know it, so stop saying that.
GOLDKNIGHT: Well, either that, or I'll pick on you for the psychological baggage in it.
That's an anime, not a show!
SILVERKNIGHT: And you have a PROBLEM with that?
AKUSEI: How many times are you going to say that, tough-guy? =P
(NOTE: I have NOT seen Neon Genesis Evangalion. --; it's kind of an inside joke with me and a friend --;)
Um... now that you mention it, no.
RAEN: I like "A Wedding Story."
::everyone sweatdrops::
BRONZEKNIGHT: Raen, you really are in love.
RAEN: It's what I live for.
KATARIS: ... I like X-Files.
HAIDAR: Anything on the science channel. Preferably feline nature documentaries. The glory of the cat cannot be stressed enough.
SAILORZANIEL: ::crawling out of the trash can:: Yea, I thought seeing them getting beaten by hyenas in that one lion special was really glorious!
::the two begin fighting and the others try to ignore them::
RUBYKNIGHT: umm...
GOLDKNIGHT: ::grin:: He likes "Home Decorating"
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: I do not watch much TV.
AKUSEI: I don't watch TV, either.
SILVERKNIGHT: Yes, he is too busy annoying the rest of us...
GOLDKNIGHT: I like "Dexter's Lab."
::Everyone stares at him again::
GOLDKNIGHT: What IS IT with you people staring at me like that?! Ludia got me into it, OK?
Speaking of Calvera, Gold Knight, how do you feel about your sister, Sailor Z?
GOLDKNIGHT: She's annoying and rude and embarrassing. She thinks she's a genius, but she cheats on every test she gets, and I'm always having to run after her. There. I answered it!
HAIDAR: True... well, she is intelligent, too.
GOLDKNIGHT: ::starts whistling "Haidar and Cal sitting in a tree"::
....
If you were a banana, and you were hungry enough, would you eat yourself?
SILVERKNIGHT: What kind of a question is THAT!?
RUBYKNIGHT: ::crosses his arms, sighs, and decides that it's hopeless::
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: It is impossible for me to become a banana in any case, and even if I were one, I could NOT eat myself!
I mean figuratively. If you were hungry, would you eat yourself?
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: NO! And I do not understand these questions!! We're wasting our time!
EMERALDKNIGHT: Just think mounds of ice cream!
Uh.. let's move on. If you were stranded at a desert island, what two items and person would you take with you?
RUBYKNIGHT: I'd take a survival expert, a bunch of food, and a bunch of medikits.
I said TWO items. As in individual items.
RUBYKNIGHT: Oh.
SILVERKNIGHT: I would take a lightsaber, Lucrecia, and a ship.
Hey! That's cheating!
SILVERKNIGHT: No, it isn't. You said items. You did not specify what items.
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: ...I still do not understand this.
HAIDAR: Neither do I.
BRONZEKNIGHT: uhh...
KATARIS: Where would this desert island be?
AKUSEI: If it had a lot of hot babes, I wouldn't want anything except some tanning lotion.
::everyone glares at Akusei::
AKUSEI: What, it's true!
GOLDKNIGHT: Oh, we never doubted THAT. -_-;;;
EMERALDKNIGHT: AH! HE SAID A BLAH WORD!
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: What now?
EMERALDKNIGHT: "Babe" is a blah word! A word that's just... blah!
RAEN: Is someone keeping track of all of Emeraldknight's wonderful little definitions?
HAIDAR: ::holds up a notepad with all of them on it::
GOLDKNIGHT: It wouldn't be a desert island if it had lots of "hot babes." ::makes a face:: I mean, come on, Akusei, how much of an idiot ARE you?
EMERALDKNIGHT: AHH! HE SAID IT TOO!
SILVERKNIGHT: SOMEONE is hyper today...
RUBYKNIGHT: What would you take, anyway? Out of bored curiosity, of course.
EMERALDKNIGHT: I'd take a high-tech communications device, Tenel Ka, and a ring!
:::the audience "aww"'s::
BRONZEKNIGHT, KATARIS, RUBYKNIGHT: ::rolls eyes::
AKUSEI: Mr. Clueless Romantic strikes again...
EMERALDKNIGHT: I meant a floaty pool ring! I want to go swimming on the beach!
::sweatdrops::
Boxers or briefs?
EMERALDKNIGHT: Boxers all the way, man! ::he, Akusei and Raen hi-five::
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: ::huge sweatdrop::
SILVERKNIGHT: ::gets up, looking very angry:: That is IT. I am getting out of here. Now.
GOLDKNIGHT: Come on, Silver. We get desert afterwards!
SILVERKNIGHT: This is not worth the trouble.
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: I'm with Silverknight.
KATARIS: ::stands:: For once, I am too.
BRONZEKNIGHT: They have white chocolate. And chocolate chip cookies.
SILVERKNIGHT: White chocolate?
HAIDAR: Cookies? Do they have the really big ones?
GOLDKNIGHT: Yea, and they mentioned something about all you can eat.
SILVERKNIGHT: ::sits down:: As long as this does not last considerably longer I think I can endure it...
So, um... what are some of your hobbies?
EMERALDKNIGHT: Collecting animals and telling jokes. Do you want to hear one now?
::collective sweatdrop::
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: Training to be a Jedi, pondering the force, etc...
KATARIS: TRYING to adapt myself to living with the little people...
AKUSEI: Join the club.
EMERALDKNIGHT: Hey, who's little?!
AKUSEI: All of you, compared to my glory.
SAILORZANIEL: DANG IT, I'M THE GENIUS!
SILVERKNIGHT: Is it just me, or do we have too many egolomaniacs here?
RUBYKNIGHT: Training, mostly...
EMERALDKNIGHT: And cleaning out your drawers and separately washing each article of clothing... and complaining... and dodging the Terror Team... and being your normal prissy self...
RUBYKNIGHT: ::huffs::
HAIDAR: Keeping Calvera out of trouble.
GOLDKNIGHT: Full-time job, that.
RAEN: Chasing Nilmane, spying on the Darkforce, bugging Zarine, chasing Nilmane, and... chasing Nilmane!
RUBYKNIGHT: And people think I need a new hobby.
BRONZEKNIGHT: Working on my ship with Jaina, training as well... going on missions...
GOLDKNIGHT: Training... and training...
SILVERKNIGHT: ...and more training... and randomly dispatching of annoying people such as yourself (hint hint)...
::looks very very nervous::
AKUSEI: Never mind him, he hasn't had his Prozac yet.
SILVERKNIGHT: ::glares:: I do not take medication!
RUBYKNIGHT: ::grumbling:: Then maybe you should start...
Umm... I can't think of anything more to say. Thanks for coming! (kind of) ::runs off quickly::
GOLDKNIGHT: Well then, that's over. I'm having a sundae with nuts and lots of chocolate syrup!
SILVERKNIGHT: I am having a white chocolate oreo bar.
BRONZEKNIGHT: I'll have cookie dough ice cream, in a cone.
SAPPHIREKNIGHT: Do they have sherbert?
HAIDAR: I want one of those large chocolate chip cookies... do you think they serve fish, too?
RUBYKNIGHT: I'll have some vanilla cake.
EMERALDKNIGHT: I want a tripple scoop of rocky road!!!
KATARIS: ... Anything that's not red and has words to the effect of "jolly" in them.
RAEN: I'm having one of those slushies.
AKUSEI: I'm having EVERYTHING.
SAILORZANIEL: Do I get some?
ALL: NO!!!!!::they start to walk off::
HAIDAR: ::looks back:: Perhaps it would be nice to say goodnight to the audience.
EMERALDKNIGHT: Good-KNIGHT, people! Haha! Get it? Good-KNIGHT? See, I did get a joke after all!
::everybody drags him out the door::----- end ------